i'm glad i didn't die before i met you
by Melancholem
Summary: It's in moments like these that Gon knows he's met Killua somewhere before - like, there's a whole other world out there where the two of them exist, and are still best friends, and do the most amazing things together.
1. besides maybe this time is different

They're sitting with their shoulders touching under an inky sky, huddled into their fall coats, rebellious cause it's midnight and they were supposed to be back half an hour ago; Killua's got his Gameboy in hand as usual, but he still murmurs to Gon every so often, answers his questions when he's supposed to, laughs at his stupid jokes and rubs grass in his hair when they're particularly bad.

After a particularly awful joke that has both of them rolling, tears streaming down their faces as they hit each other and laugh, Gon sits back up and sighs, pulling his knees up to his chest. There's a long pause, and then "I feel like something really bad happened to us in another life," he says, pensive.

Killua rolls over and stretches out onto his back, still playing his Gameboy. "Well, that's a weird thing to say," he says, shifting a little – he's lying on Gon's hand. "How d'you figure?"

Gon shrugs. "Nothing bad has ever happened to us, Killua. There's got to be a world out there somewhere where we're suffering." He lies down, too, head touching Killua's, and sighs. "I hope we're friends there, at least."

"We're friends everywhere, idiot." Grass sprinkles down onto Gon's face, and he laughs a little through his sneeze. "But we're suffering? You're not making sense."

"Yeah, I don't even know what I'm saying," Gon admits, and both of them laugh this time. "I just kind of. I feel it, you know? Like, another world on the edge of this one where things're different and we aren't happy like this." He moves onto his stomach so he can look at Killua. "But it's kind of – I kind of want to know what that's like. Do you ever get that? That, you know, life here is so boring that you're willing to give it all up for one with a little excitement?"

Putting the Gameboy down, Killua tucks his arms behind his head and settles farther into the grass. "Nah, not really. I'm pretty okay with life as it is so long as we can still have adventures and do shit together and stuff, even if it is a little boring sometimes." He looks up at the sky and frowns at the stars for a long moment. "Maybe there is a world like that out there, though. I hope that whatever it is that happens to him, the other me is still cool as hell."

"Well, if he's you, probably not," Gon teases, and Killua laughs even as he jumps up to takes a swing at him.

* * *

notes: do people even still do author's notes? like, is that a thing that happens? i've been gone long enough that i actually have no idea anymore

this is an AU where killua and gon are just kids speculating on the existence of other worlds, aka the "what the fuck is the canon hunter x hunter storyline i just want them to be happy" AU. basically this is going to be a collection of little tiny stories focusing around them and the world around them - i don't know if other characters will come into this at all, but we'll see.

honestly, i have no idea what i'm doing.

(the title of this fic, for those who are curious, is taken from "first day of my life" by bright eyes.)


	2. faithful friends who are dear to us

It's maybe one in the morning when the snow starts falling; Killua, being Killua, is the first to notice it, and shakes Gon awake as quietly as possible so as not to wake Mito up. "Hey," he hisses – Gon stirs against his shoulder, blinking like he's not exactly sure where he is before jolting up into a sitting position.

"I wasn't sleeping!" he blurts, then covers his mouth. "Whoa, what time is it? Oh!" He's seen the snow, and leaps to his feet to go investigate the window. Killua follows close behind, rubbing at his eyes; he doesn't go all the way to the window, though, cause it's cold over there and he's seen it all before. "I wonder if it's gonna stick?" Gon muses, breath clearly fogging up the glass. Killua kind of sighs in response and collapses onto the couch, tired.

The reflection of the Christmas lights illuminates the space around Gon as he draws patterns in the fog on the window; Killua watches him idly, kicking up his legs and resting his chin on his arms. "You think it's gonna snow for Christmas?" he asks, and Gon hums in response, arm arcing out across the window in a graceful curve.

Pictures start to take shape under Gon's fingers, lazily spiraling outward into a smudgy blur of swirling patterns and faces that Killua thinks he half-recognizes. Strange, fantastic figures crowd the glass – a frighteningly thin man with a teardrop on one cheek, a young woman with seaweed hair and scales on her arms, someone wreathed in chains with their hands outstretched – next to drawings of Killua himself, leaning against Gon's shoulder, arms slung around people he's never seen before, smiling with his eyes fixed on the sky.

The window overflows with images, and if Killua just squints he could almost believe that the pictures are leaving the window, that they're stepping off of their canvas and coming to surround him-

Killua jolts awake as Gon presses icy cold fingers into his neck. "You were sleeping!" Gon teases, beaming as Killua takes a defensive swipe at him. "I asked you if you wanted to go outside."

"What, right now?" He's still a little cloudy from his dream – was it a dream? It must have been, because the window's just covered in streaky lines and swirls, and he knows for a fact that Gon can't draw. Shaking his head to try and rid himself of the last of the images, he grins back at Gon. "Let's go, what the hell are you waiting for?"

They burst out into the moonlit night without even bothering to put shoes on first; Gon laughs when he sees his breath puff out white, dancing in the snow in his excitement. Killua, still bathed in the glow of the lights from the house, stands and watches for just a second: sometimes it's nice, he thinks, to have such a reckless friend.

* * *

notes: here i am trying to get in the christmas spirit and fucking FINALS ARE DRAGGING ME DOWN (well, they were at the time i wrote this).

ah, well, some festive kids for you anyway. i wrote this one mostly to marina and the diamonds' cover of "have yourself a merry little christmas", if you're in the market for Mood Music to read this to.


End file.
